On a winter evening in Vancouver after a full day practicing, I’m not quite ready to head home. Like most places, Vancouver doesn’t stay light into the evenings in the winter. Today was no different. I head to the 1st tee around 4pm and the sun is setting as if it had somewhere better to be. I imagine I can only play a handful of holes so I’m keen to get out there. 

I love playing golf late; it’s so still and quiet. There’s a hush that falls when there are so few people around.

I had been a professional golfer competing on various tours and in numerous countries for two seasons at this point. I had technical pieces I was working on in my swing and short game but more importantly I was working hard on being present and process oriented while I played. The most critical factor for me is a clear intention for each shot. The detail in my intention allows me to discern the “feel” at impact. I can only do this if I am clear on what I want it to feel like. When I am at my best, my mind-body connection is dialed in and I can “feel it” in my swing. So, my goal was to “feel” impact on each shot and I would achieve this with clarity and commitment before stepping in to swing.

I had finished the first six at Marine Drive Golf Club and had played well; but nothing to write home about. I birdied the second and third and made bogey on the 4th. The 6th green is positioned near the ninth green, making it an ideal spot to leave early if you’re losing light. I hit a 6-iron that felt perfect; the ball compressing between the ground and the club face. Now it is dark, the 6th and 9th greens only illuminated by light from the club house, I made par and decided to keep playing. 

I make another  par on the 7th. Four well played shots; but now it is properly dark. I set my bag down and pull my 5-iron out of my bag and walk towards the 8th tee box. I made sure to look over my shoulder and get a sense of where the fairway was. I made another smooth swing, feeling the ball striking near the middle of the face and off I go, not entirely sure where my ball finished. As I’m walking I can feel the grass beginning to soften while the evening dew settles in. I walk past a yardage marker on a sprinkler head that reads “125” referring to the distance to the middle of the green. I can barely make out the flag, just a fraction right of the center, and since I had counted five steps from the yardage marker I figured I must be roughly 120 yards; my favourite distance. Gap wedge in hand, I feel the weight of the club as I make my three-quarter practice swing. I lock in my intention for the shot, step over the ball, take one last look at the darkness in front of me and take the club back. 

As soon as I strike the ball, I can feel through the club and into my hands that I had done exactly what I intended. Hilariously, I twirl the club after I hit it, immediately thinking how lame it was to twirl the club in the dark with no one to see it; nevermind that I couldn’t see the ball myself. But it was an honest reaction to a swing that felt perfect, regardless of where it went. I’m relieved when I heard the ball land on what sounded firm enough to be the green. I replace my divot and start walking. As I got closer I’m scanning the green back and forth and couldn’t see it. I got about 15 yards away and I could see I had hit it directly behind the hole 6-inches away. Thrilled, I knocked in my birdie and moved onto the 9th tee. 

I arrive on the 9th tee trying to see where I want the ball to finish in the fairway. Without enough light, I do my best to visualize the tee shot I had hit countless times off that tee. In my rehearsal swing I feel my body turning and my hands naturally releasing the club. When I strike the ball, I try to pay attention to where it feels like it goes. The fairway is lined with trees right and left; in this light I wouldn’t be able to see the flight  and I could very easily lose the ball. Although a good swing, I felt a little quick, usually resulting in a slight left miss and I listened anxiously for the ball in case it strikes a tree even though I believe it should end in the fairway. 

I didn’t hear anything, so I headed down the left side of the fairway and I walked pretty much straight onto it. I’m fortunately standing right next to the 147 yard marker. 

I can barely see the flag now illuminated by the club house lights; although my 8-iron is typically my 165 club, I can feel how much colder it is and how the temperature will affect the distance the ball will fly. I make another committed swing to the target I chose and I hear the ball fly as it leaves the club face. I could almost feel the ball land safely on the green. 

Once I arrived at the green I was only left with an 8-footer for birdie. With a gentle break from left-to-right that I could feel in my feet as I walked the length of the putt, I aimed just outside left, felt the ball off the middle of the putter and it went in. Walking off, I realized I played the holes in the dark in 2-under, while I had played the holes in full light and view in only 1-under. 

For me, letting go of results and accepting the outcome before hitting a shot frees me up to make a confident, committed swing. When I couldn’t see where the ball was landing all I could do was commit to a swing and really connect to the shot I was trying to execute. That level of trust and acceptance allowed me to execute high level shots all the way in. 

Often, being focused on the result of a shot causes me to feel tension and discomfort; inhibiting my ability to make a committed swing. When that happens, I guide it and effectively hope it goes where I want, rather than having authority and hitting it with positive intention. 

This applies to everyone and every level. Take some time and practice this. Be clear about what you want to do, and accept that the results will be whatever they will be. It’s easy to think we have either way more or way less control than we actually have. We as golfers can only control how we approach a shot; try approaching it with acceptance and commitment for better results.